Awareness and Being Effortless
"Awareness should be moment to moment, but it can only be when it has become effortless. With effort you will lose contact again and again; with effort you will have to rest. Effort cannot be continuous, it is impossible. Every effort needs relaxation. So if awareness is through effort, then awareness cannot be a constant, continuous flow. There will be moments when you have to lose awareness. Those will be the moments of relaxation from the effort.
"Life pulsates, life always moves to the opposite. Make an effort, then you have to rest. Again you make an effort, then you have to rest. But there is an awareness that goes beyond life - the transcendental. Then there is no pulsation; it is effortless, it is spontaneous. If the effort is there it is a strained thing, and a strained thing is bound to be unnatural. An unnatural awareness is not really awareness. It exists only on the periphery, not in you. If it exists in you there is no need to make any effort. Effort is always on the periphery. You cannot touch the center through effort.
"In the beginning effort is bound to be there, because otherwise how are you going to start? You will make an effort; you will try to be mindful, you will try in every way to be conscious, but that effort will create a tension. And the more you make an effort, the tenser you will be. There will be tiny glimpses, but because of the tension the ecstasy will be missed. You will have to pass through this state also - of making an effort.
"But while making this effort sometimes suddenly you will become aware - when you were not making the effort. And that awareness will be light, joyful, dancing, ecstatic."